and yet you continue to talk to me like you know me

apologies are in order

dear
i'm sorry i won't be going. lobby day sounds very fun (the whole all-inclusive bit is especially tempting), yet i can't bring myself to act overtly in the political realm. i won't legitimize it. i won't accept that image is everything. sure, they'll patronize me and my 'concerns,' but it's empty. (i guess if you're an atheist, maybe you are what other people say you are. but if you believe in God, you are accountable to Him.) so thanks but no thanks; call me if you decide to go the sedition/subversion route. but go ahead and you can try the top-down approach. my work is at the bottom.

dear
of course i dont trust you. wait that sounds harsh. what i mean is that i dont trust you to hold my best interests as the top priority. yes i am that selfish. for that, i'm more sorry than you know (though i suppose i'm trying to tell you here).

dear
it's nice to know i'm not alone. sorry i'm not better company. i'd get frustrated too (though much easier than you).

i love you all (marta)
jw