kthxbai

Life's a bitch and then you die {i should be so lucky}.

i must be feeling sorry for myself. i finished watching pride and prejudice, and now i'm watching moulin rouge. and the football game is on. the amount of self-loathing i will have for myself in the morning (or sooner) is absolutely indescribable. how am i not an alcoholic?

this is my own fault. that bit of information has not been lost on me, much though i'd like to conveniently forget about it. it's what i get for reading twilight, and watching full moon wo sagashite, and listening to l'arc~en~ciel's flower.

at the same time, give me a goddam break. it's not that i mind having things go the way they always do (ok, that's a lie, but i can live with it), but i hate feeling so inescapably alone. i just want a friend around that i can actually talk to (meaning, they actually have a chance of understanding me, and not just understanding the words i use), that i can trust, that will put some effort in him/herself so that it's not all up to me. am i asking for too much? probably. but like i said, i'm not asking for things to be fair, i'm asking for a break.