I want a coach.
I want some good sense.
I want quiet.
I want to finish this book.
I want a little illumination, or maybe some sunshine.
I want anonymity.
I want to be able to call a spade a spade. I want to be able to hate on democracy and call jesse jackson a racist and make holocaust, AIDS, and anorexia jokes and talk about suicide without the world going nuts.
I want bad drivers to just hire chauffers.
I want a plan I'm settled with.
I want to apologize.
I want to be more observant.
I want a rival.
I want another season of Arrested Development.
I want to know true happiness and true sorrow.
I want to be a better friend.
I want to be able to remember what the word incarcerated means.
Things that are on the list, but not officially (meaning, we can't talk about these, and actually I'm not sure why I'm disclosing them, but it's just late enough for me to do something I'll probably regret later. But my therapist might say this is a step in the right direction. Of course, I'd probably tell my therapist (s)he can go to hell, I'll decide what's my own right direction, and I'm doing this because it's just what I happen to be doing.)
I wouldn't mind being understood occasionally.
I wish I could buy into a more widely-held view on things.
I wish I could relate to people better.
I wish I wasn't so proud, or dark, or walled, or detached, or obdurate.
I wish I wasn't so set on being those things.
I wish I could live outside my head.
I wish I didn't care so much about being right.
I wish I was more intentional.
I wish I was more honest.
I wish I had a good reason (outside the fact that I find it useful) to believe anything.
I wish I knew how to not be alone.
I wish this didn't sound to cliche.
I wish I'd actually post this.
No comments:
Post a Comment