heart's anxiety

i hate going to sleep having just showered. my hair is going to be unwieldy in the morning. it can't be helped. i'm bushed. *insert poor pun...no wait, i'll do it myself* like the white house.

i'm running out of excuses not to do things now that school's over. if i'm not tricky and/or deceitful on a regular basis, i'll wind up with less free time this summer than i had during the school year.

congrats on graduating stina. it'll be a real bother when you're gone next year. i won't know who to invite to the movies. congrats to all you other graduates too. mostly doug. actually doug, i'll give you and christina all the congratulations and you can divvy it up for all the worthy graduates. for the entire world. no complaints. santa does roughly the same thing in 6 months.

i heard this quote somewhere "Emphasizing a lifestyle based on consumption is the ultimate violence against a poor country."

perhaps my timing is bad (given the heaviness of the previous line) but when did people start getting so damn serious about things. i wish i could talk in allegory, and give y'all a little riddle to figure out so you could feel accomplished. but i'm lazy, and the message is the same. ($#!%. now i have a message? sounds like i'm getting serious myself...whatever) all this wedding stuff interferes with hockey. if i was to listen (i don't really) i'd probably hear people talking about stability and salary and stipend and suburbia and submortgage and substance abuse. seriously? seriously? what happened to broadening horizons? what happened to big dreams? what happened to remembering all those things that used to inspire us to want to be great or to do great things? what is with people trying to create their own little isolated worlds? (actually, it seems like it would make things simpler, which should (and does) appeal to me.) but isn't that what settling down is? restructuring your lives around the few things which with you're most comfortable. i hope to God i'm not talking about either of you, corey and erik. you deserve and are capable of so much. and certainly it is wonderful that you're getting married. but if your world collapses into the concerns of only 1 household, i will be crushed, regardless of how much i stay in your lives (which will be a lot regardless. it'll be well nigh impossible to get rid of me. like a virus. i need a capsid.)