you know the drill

or rather, i know the drill.

6th week = tests = restlessness = blog time = make some stuff up

so it's not really like i have a choice in the matter.

actually, that's one of my favorite excuses. the whole "it wasn't my decision" route. the "sorry, company policy" or "it's just my nature" or "i don't make the rules, i just play by them."

it does a remarkable job of externalizing any potential blame. and sometimes rightly so. the penguins lost to the rangers yesterday. there's really nothing i could have done about that. at least, not easily.

i have tests tomorrow. there's nothing i can do about those either. seriously. no let me talk this one out.

i have tests, but it's in my nature to prepare moderately well for them. in the time i have left. it's not in my nature to study for such things ahead of time. just like it's not in my nature to do something poorly, or let something turn out badly. (these qualities run in very stark opposition to my procrastination virtues, but really, that's just the way of things, and there's not much i can do about it.)

i'm kind of a good model for consistency. wait. no i'm not. and i'm probably not a very good judge, what with all the bias and all.

i like to think i could be a good model for consistency. but then, i like to think i could be a good model for a great many things. let's list them:

integrity
loyalty
brilliance
bravado
humility
intonation
optimism
nutrition
freestyle
saying the right thing
malice
indecision
detachment
springboard diving
cologne

this list extends rather indefinitely. the pattern is (and would continue to be) pretty predictable. i start with the obviously ridiculous ideas, lean somewhat toward ones that could be believable (if only to make the initial ones feel like they were somewhat true), poke some fun at my supposed lesser qualities, and wrap it all up with a joke. i also make sure that it's internally unsound. as i told a friend today, i see honesty more as a last resort than a primary policy.

well, it's 1, and tests start early. also, i wake up even earlier to review. i hate having to sleep. it'd be nicer if it was more optional. like salt.

and i quit writing when my analogies fall apart like origami paper cranes.

paper cranes make me sad. it makes me think of a book i read about a japanese girl, named sadako, and world war two. and then i think of grave of the fireflies. (oh yeah, sorry jill, i watched it. so don't feel constrained. or if you want to wait and watch it with me sometime(?) that works. kinda. i cried when i saw it. i imagine i'd probably once more do so, were i to see it again.) that movie is really damn depressing.