We know these things (amongst these, that I thieve phrases from people I hang out with)

I am a moron. A huge moron. Text-book moron. Poster-boy moron. But we know these things.

For those of you who have not spent the last few hours with me (which actually is everyone, because I've been alone, or alone enough that no one but myself would have been able to put together this progression), I have been wasting time, which is exactly what I told myself I wasn't going to do. Tonight I was going to study, because most of my nights studying are really not the most productive. If I had to estimate (which I hate to do, because there are those who might be reading this that would resent any statistics I am presently trying to invent), I'd say we go at about 25% capacity. Granted, the other two-thirds goes into having fun (ok, the math's a little off, but there has to be some room for error and/or being shushed), but still I feel a bit behind in my schoolwork, which is why I had so intended to get some quality work in this evening.

But no. Nope. Things (that is to say, time) just kinda got out of hand. 4 o'clock gave way to 5 at the piano bench, to 6 at the kitchen table, to 7 and 8 and 9 at the computer watching baseball (and perhaps Everwood, which was also a terrible idea because I don't need stupid TV trying to impress upon me feelings I don't, nor want, to have). And so here I am, trying to figure out why I'm not yet rationalizing all this.

I'd like to blame 9/11. I really would. I'm appalled at how desensitized I've become to the whole event. I read in a book once about a boy who, upon learning of the destructive force of the atomic bomb, walked to the nearest window and vomited (or at least that's how I remember the story). That's how I want to feel. I don't want 9/11 just to turn into the reason I can't take toothpaste in my carry-on. Or the reason to hunt out religious radicals. Fine, there might be some smaller lessons to take away, but I'm sick of people trying to find significance in meaningless things. There is nothing special about how many steps it takes from my car to the front door of my house, and there is nothing sacred about the central-most verse in the Bible (but sure, it makes for a decent Sabbath School lesson, because people like symmetry stuff like that, myself included). Ok, that's not exactly what I'm going for. What I'm trying to say is that........, well wait, no. Figure it out for yourself. Because chances are, you already know it. So think about it, and decide whether or not you agree with me.

I find myself (some 5 or 6 steps later, and likely in a totally different direction than anyone else is like to take) ending up back at the Salinger quote I once talked about Friday, March 31, 2006 (I tried linking this before but it didn't work, and so I don't promise that it does now either).