Weekend Homework

Due Monday, May 1, 2006: Compare and contrast the two days of the weekend. Pay particular attention to having awesome topic sentences.

Every weekend seems to be comprised largely of two daysSaturday and Sunday. I hold both in rather high regard, both because of the ways in which they're similar and the ways they differ from each other. It may be stating the obvious, but the experience I have with Saturdays and Sundays, even any particular Saturday or Sunday, will vary largely from the encounters of others, and so this should not be seen as any sort of definitive work on the subject, especially since this essay will seek to focus on Saturday, April 29 and Sunday, April 30, 2006.
The particular Saturday and Sunday in question were similar in many ways. Firstly, I awoke both days to discover that the Pirates had won their games the night before. Secondly, I talked with four people (Jarrod and Jill on both days). Thirdly, I read. Fourthly, I ate rice (which actually happens every day, but on these particular instances it represented the better portion of my caloric intake). Fifthly, I thought about practicing trumpet, but then didn't. Sixthly, I think I took naps both days (or really, I fell asleep while reading). Seventhly, both days were rather boring, at least compared to that time when Brian Giles threw me a baseball and then my cousin Joe got a foul ball at the same ballgame, or that time when that lady threatened to call the cops on us because we were rolling eggplants and throwing pomegranates from my hillside onto Redlands Boulevard.
Saturday and Sunday were, for all their similarities, remarkably different from each other. On Saturday, I didn't go outside, but Sunday I did. On Saturday, I didn't actually speak aloud to anyone, whereas on Sunday I went and got a key to the Cooper's apartment from Santosh so I could water the four plants on the Cooper's porch, and in the process engaged Santosh in conversation (well, we alternated talking about 3 times, and less than 30 words were said). On Saturday, nothing broke in my room, while on Sunday, one of the crossbeams that runs underneath my bed and supports the mattress broke (no, i'm not getting fat, I weighed myself up at Cooper's apartment and I'm still the same) and so I rearranged the supports, and in the process had to face the dust bunnies and spiders that live under my bed (I chased them away {into a corner} with a broom)fortunately for me, the rabbits were Disney Bambi Thumpers and not Watership Down brutes, and the arachnids weren't on the scale of the Aragog I'd seen before.
As you can probably see, Saturday and Sunday were quite alike and quite different. I never was in the habit or writing good conclusions to my papers, and I think it would be quite out of character to try to do so here. So instead, I think I'll just end mid-sentence and see how that works out for me. Oh, well I missed my chance at that. Whatever.
How about a haiku. Surely Michael can't be the only poetic one. Oh wait, my last entry was a poem. Yeah, but I didn't really like it. Did I just promise you a haiku? I'm sure I can make one up here right quick.

i do best with words
that can mean two diff'rent things.
like impertinent

(If I had to score this, I'd probably say post one of those yellow warning "12% downgrade" signs and then put a runaway truck ramp with those loose gravel slopes that your tires get stuck in somewhere in the middle of the contrast paragraph.)